Tahun ke-7 Ayah Pergi
Bismillahirahmanirahim. Assalamualaikum wbt all. Lama gila kot tak publish sini. Rasa kekok pulak. Baca pulak entry lama-lama rasa nak siku muka wei hahaha. Alhamdulillah, SPM habis dah. Tunggu bulan 3 je ni homaigadddd nak dekat dah kot 😠Please do pray for us -batch 99-
Bukan senang tau nak dapat chance gini. Sebab sistur sekarang kerja dewan makan. I've learnt lots of thing here. Sini sekolah rendah okay. So can u imagine how the kiddos manage their time dekat hostel? Even aku dulu duk asrama dah sekolah menengah pun rasa macam separuh mati. Balik sekolah pukul dua, makan, prep, riadah, basuh baju, turun makan semua tu. Gosh macam mana aku survive ea? 😂 Tipulah kata tak penat kerja macam ni. Rasa berterima kasih sangat dekat makcik makcik baik hati kat dewan makan time sekolah dulu. Rupanya bukan senang ye kerja ni. Sekarang dah faham perasaan diorang. Selama ni mesti merungut. Nak mintak kuih lebih tak boleh, nak mintak makanan lebih nak bawak gi sekolah pun tak boleh. Rupanya memang ada rules macam tu ye. Huhu baru tahu. Kesian makcik makcik dewan makan kena layan kitorang yang degil ni dulu 😠Sekarang baru faham. Macam macam perangai ada. Semalam pun rasa panjang sangat. Nak kena jaga budak budak sekolah rendah yang belum boleh fikir dengan matang ni ya Allahh. Tuhan je lah tahu macam mana. Semalam, after setel semua kerja, pi luar jap. Terpandang atas, nampak pelangi. See? I claimed it as a reward. Betul orang kata, Allah hadirkan pelangi selepas hujan. Syukur 😊
Acik doakan korang elok elok duk asrama. Nanti acik sambung belajar, mesti acik rindu korang semua. Thanks kiddos sebab bukak mata acik. Budak kecik macam korang pun pandai berdikari. My best prayers for you guys😘
Harini, 8.1.2017,
Genap 7 tahun ayah pergi. Tapi sebenarnya ayah tetap ada.
Throwing back for the moment that i really dont want to remember at all but still, i wanna share it here. It was friday, 5:50 am. My mother tried to wake my father up to perform fajr prayer. It was my father who usually will wake up first but not on that day. Mak kejut again n again but no answers. Mak decide kejut anak anak dia. Time tu ada kak long, abang aran, aku, kak leha yang tengah semester break, abame n abawan. Yang lain masing masing jauh. Kerja and belajar.
I just coudnt... When someone woke me up with tears, saying that ayah tak bangun bangun.. Nampak mak tengah solat dalam bilik, mak berdoa sambil menangis. Aku macam... Whyy. Kenapa mak menangis. Mak peluk aku sambil cakap, "adik..ayah dah takde. Pergi solat. Doakan ayah." Aku cepat cepat naik atas dan ya..seluruh badan Ayah dah ditutupi dengan selimut biru dia. Orang masjid dah mula datang..How can i believe that?? Baru malam tadi ayah kacau anak anak dia. Tengok WWE, mengusik kitorang, belikan ayam madu pasar, makan sama sama..Ya Allah..even sekarang pun tak kuat untuk menulis..
Allahuuu rindunya. Ya Allah.. Please grant him the highest jannah as a reward for being a very good spouse to mak who never broke mum's feeling intentionally, always work hard to raise us, for being the best ever father in world. Terima kasih ya Allah for giving me my precious 10 years with his presence.. Nothing's easy in this life especially when we have no other choice but to say good bye and the hardest part is when we know that it would be the last good bye. It hurted me so bad thinking that he wouldnt come back. He cant comb my hair anymore. We cant go pasar together like we used to...and he cant pat on my back when i need it the most. It hurts me every time i think about it.
He brought so many joys and fun to us in his lifetime. I can still remember how excited he was when he got his first grandchild.. He kept calling him Firdaus eventhough kak long named him Aiman. I cant promise anything but if i have the chance to have a child, i would not hesitantly named him with that beautiful name, Firdaus.. InsyaAllah, that beautiful name you was hoping for could be the place you will find the real happiness -syurga firdaus-
Seeing mother's eyes during the funeral was the hardest part, i knew it was a long, miserable day for her, thinking how will she make living to raise us up. Alhamdulillah, now all of us succesfully go through all the challenges. Mak, you are our hero. You are a strong woman indeed. You've went through it even you bleed,even your heart broke..we knew it...but you did it.
Syukur pada Allah, berjaya dapat top 3 form 5 student for trial. Mak ayah kena datang sekolah, report day. Macam biasa la tiap kali hari laporan, mak akan datang. ..sorang. The saddest part bila aku tengok biela peluk abah..Seriously, lembik sangat lutut time tu.. I was thinking.... Whyyy ayah cannot see me today. Astaghfirullah... Thanks ira for borrowing me your shoulders. Pooja also 😂 first time in forever ye tengok pooja menangis. Sampai orang dah start buat line tepi dewan, kitorang boleh lagi berdrama air mata. Sampai je dewan, cikgu bising kitorang hilang 😂 Bila dia nampak mata yang time tu obviously bengkak, berair, merah bagai, dia cam serba salah gak. Tanya banyak kali pun, aku senyum je. Classmate nampak mata merah, dia tanya asal nangis? Tak malu ke nangis. I was like.. hahahaha. Dia siap pi cakap dekat sorang pakcik ni"pakcik tengok ni dia tak malu nangis." Mamat sekor tu😒 Tapi thank you lah ye afifiy in case you read this sebab aku tergelak gak la time kau cakap "kau nangis sebab tak dapat nombor 1 ke? Takpe la kalau kau nak, ambik je la." Pftt.
Bukan senang tau nak dapat chance gini. Sebab sistur sekarang kerja dewan makan. I've learnt lots of thing here. Sini sekolah rendah okay. So can u imagine how the kiddos manage their time dekat hostel? Even aku dulu duk asrama dah sekolah menengah pun rasa macam separuh mati. Balik sekolah pukul dua, makan, prep, riadah, basuh baju, turun makan semua tu. Gosh macam mana aku survive ea? 😂 Tipulah kata tak penat kerja macam ni. Rasa berterima kasih sangat dekat makcik makcik baik hati kat dewan makan time sekolah dulu. Rupanya bukan senang ye kerja ni. Sekarang dah faham perasaan diorang. Selama ni mesti merungut. Nak mintak kuih lebih tak boleh, nak mintak makanan lebih nak bawak gi sekolah pun tak boleh. Rupanya memang ada rules macam tu ye. Huhu baru tahu. Kesian makcik makcik dewan makan kena layan kitorang yang degil ni dulu 😠Sekarang baru faham. Macam macam perangai ada. Semalam pun rasa panjang sangat. Nak kena jaga budak budak sekolah rendah yang belum boleh fikir dengan matang ni ya Allahh. Tuhan je lah tahu macam mana. Semalam, after setel semua kerja, pi luar jap. Terpandang atas, nampak pelangi. See? I claimed it as a reward. Betul orang kata, Allah hadirkan pelangi selepas hujan. Syukur 😊
Acik doakan korang elok elok duk asrama. Nanti acik sambung belajar, mesti acik rindu korang semua. Thanks kiddos sebab bukak mata acik. Budak kecik macam korang pun pandai berdikari. My best prayers for you guys😘
Harini, 8.1.2017,
Genap 7 tahun ayah pergi. Tapi sebenarnya ayah tetap ada.
Throwing back for the moment that i really dont want to remember at all but still, i wanna share it here. It was friday, 5:50 am. My mother tried to wake my father up to perform fajr prayer. It was my father who usually will wake up first but not on that day. Mak kejut again n again but no answers. Mak decide kejut anak anak dia. Time tu ada kak long, abang aran, aku, kak leha yang tengah semester break, abame n abawan. Yang lain masing masing jauh. Kerja and belajar.
I just coudnt... When someone woke me up with tears, saying that ayah tak bangun bangun.. Nampak mak tengah solat dalam bilik, mak berdoa sambil menangis. Aku macam... Whyy. Kenapa mak menangis. Mak peluk aku sambil cakap, "adik..ayah dah takde. Pergi solat. Doakan ayah." Aku cepat cepat naik atas dan ya..seluruh badan Ayah dah ditutupi dengan selimut biru dia. Orang masjid dah mula datang..How can i believe that?? Baru malam tadi ayah kacau anak anak dia. Tengok WWE, mengusik kitorang, belikan ayam madu pasar, makan sama sama..Ya Allah..even sekarang pun tak kuat untuk menulis..
Allahuuu rindunya. Ya Allah.. Please grant him the highest jannah as a reward for being a very good spouse to mak who never broke mum's feeling intentionally, always work hard to raise us, for being the best ever father in world. Terima kasih ya Allah for giving me my precious 10 years with his presence.. Nothing's easy in this life especially when we have no other choice but to say good bye and the hardest part is when we know that it would be the last good bye. It hurted me so bad thinking that he wouldnt come back. He cant comb my hair anymore. We cant go pasar together like we used to...and he cant pat on my back when i need it the most. It hurts me every time i think about it.
He brought so many joys and fun to us in his lifetime. I can still remember how excited he was when he got his first grandchild.. He kept calling him Firdaus eventhough kak long named him Aiman. I cant promise anything but if i have the chance to have a child, i would not hesitantly named him with that beautiful name, Firdaus.. InsyaAllah, that beautiful name you was hoping for could be the place you will find the real happiness -syurga firdaus-
Seeing mother's eyes during the funeral was the hardest part, i knew it was a long, miserable day for her, thinking how will she make living to raise us up. Alhamdulillah, now all of us succesfully go through all the challenges. Mak, you are our hero. You are a strong woman indeed. You've went through it even you bleed,even your heart broke..we knew it...but you did it.
May Allah reunite all of us in jannah afterwards insyaAllah. That is my definite goal after all.
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Syukur pada Allah, berjaya dapat top 3 form 5 student for trial. Mak ayah kena datang sekolah, report day. Macam biasa la tiap kali hari laporan, mak akan datang. ..sorang. The saddest part bila aku tengok biela peluk abah..Seriously, lembik sangat lutut time tu.. I was thinking.... Whyyy ayah cannot see me today. Astaghfirullah... Thanks ira for borrowing me your shoulders. Pooja also 😂 first time in forever ye tengok pooja menangis. Sampai orang dah start buat line tepi dewan, kitorang boleh lagi berdrama air mata. Sampai je dewan, cikgu bising kitorang hilang 😂 Bila dia nampak mata yang time tu obviously bengkak, berair, merah bagai, dia cam serba salah gak. Tanya banyak kali pun, aku senyum je. Classmate nampak mata merah, dia tanya asal nangis? Tak malu ke nangis. I was like.. hahahaha. Dia siap pi cakap dekat sorang pakcik ni"pakcik tengok ni dia tak malu nangis." Mamat sekor tu😒 Tapi thank you lah ye afifiy in case you read this sebab aku tergelak gak la time kau cakap "kau nangis sebab tak dapat nombor 1 ke? Takpe la kalau kau nak, ambik je la." Pftt.
Alhamdulillah, at least i still have my mother to hug. Semoga mak sentiasa sihat dan gembira. We love you so much mak. You are my every reason to keep going.
The rest is history.
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